Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
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