office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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