I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Randomize
