if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
