I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
