i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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