Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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