a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
