whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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