This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
