i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
