I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
