I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
