Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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