I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
