Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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