if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
