These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
