the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I lost the right to judge tonight
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
