After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We're too hungover to prance.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
