I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
