i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
