the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
