hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
