i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
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