Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
