I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
