I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
