Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
