I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
