just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
