Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
