im about as happy as oj after his trial
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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