Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
