So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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