unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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