Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
