Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
