Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
be right there i have to get my cape
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
