Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
