I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
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