Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize