Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
