He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
