ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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