Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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