even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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