Soap is not a condiment
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
