Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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