have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
