Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
where are my eyebrows?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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