4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So many bounce houses so little time
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
