you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I want to be your penis for a week.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
