4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
