What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
