He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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