You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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