I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
