Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
